It’s already been about six months since I bravely decided to tell all the difficult truths about Moscow Tinder.
Many readers have been waiting for my continuation. They’ve asked if something eventually changed, what’s new, whether I’ve achieved any success, etc. I kept silent, though there was nothing to hide – the truth is that I have no news. The amount of men increased a little bit, but there are still too few (if before it took 1.5-3 mins to receive the message, “There’s no one new around you,” today it takes around 10). I noticed a lack of foreigners during the winter, but with the beginning of spring they are here again, with all their business and backpacking trips. Russian-speaking men are still cockered, arrogant and badly dressed just as they were before.
So since the situation stayed more or less the same (at a steady negative), I thought that it would be appropriate to give some tips to Tinder guys and girls on how to act in our current situation to increase the app’s effectiveness and finally get a decent date.
- Text first. Don’t even doubt it. Remember the stats: ten girls – one boy. Should you meet someone on Tinder that you like, give him a hint. Using words. Don’t try to look too smart, a simple “Hello! Nice match!” would be enough. Leave all the rest to him.
- Use superlikes. Let’s pretend that you started a conversation. Some girls complain that the chat fades away quickly. When I researched a bit, I realized that those chats were like a template: he asks – she answers. Dear girls, men are worthy of your attention. Please, show interest. Not just in his car, job or ex-wife, but in his personality.
Ask him about sports, hobbies, friends. If you have no creativity, then at least try to reflect his own questions back at him: “And what about you? And what is your opinion on this? And you, do you personally like it?” etc.
- Don’t drag it out. Sometimes girls receive a message from a guy and then decide to pause before answering, so that a guy wouldn’t think that she is waiting for someone to text her all day long. Hilarious! Ladies, while you are maintaining an “elegant” pause, he can simply forget that he ever texted you. Reply when you have a chance. We have hundreds of chats with different people on Tinder, and the slower a conversation goes, the less of a priority it gets. Obvious, isn’t it?
- Change your userpic. Many guys swipe right just according to your first pic, not even looking further. So make your first photo the best. But (!) not according to your own opinion, but to the opinion of your male friends. Let them help you choose the right one. Your tastes are going to be quite different, probably (friends will pick the photo you are ashamed of), but it’s gonna work well – I’ve checked.
- Try as hard as possible to look like you look on pics. So you changed your userpic,and there is no professional photoshopped picture with the vamp face anymore. You put a recently taken shot with your daily make up and playful smile. So, if your daily image is a glamorous cheek on heels and in a short dress, then please be it on your Tinder-date. If you appear in glasses in every photo on your Tinder profile, please wear those glasses on your first date. Pay respect to your vis-à-vis, he was hooked up by the image. Just imagine, that you liked a brutal bearded guy, and – ooops – just before the date he shaved it off. A pity, isn’t it? So you could feel what they feel when you don’t match with your own pictures. Transfer all the best qualities from your Tinder photos to reality, and shave off all the rest.
- Text first. Some traditions are unbreakable, and some of my tips are doomed to be ignored. Women will always wait for the first moves from you. Even if she texts first, someday you she will say: “If not for me, we would have never met.” Do you really need that? Swiped right – texted. Swiped right – texted. Superliked (good boy!) – texted. Make it a habit.
- Instead of “Hi, how are you?” try something like “Hi! Where’s this port\view\cafe that I see on your last picture? Looks familiar.” or “Hi! Nice pet, what’s its name?” or “Hi! I just read the news that a Russian spacecraft successfully docked on the International Space Station. Worth a drink if you ask me, join me!”.
- Show your interest. Seriously, guys, I understand that there are plenty of fish in the sea, but still… You compete with French monsignors and British gentlemen – express some interest in the woman that you managed to swipe right.
- Invite her to a meeting. What exactly are you waiting for? We’re not getting any younger here, don’t forget. Invite her today – not on Friday evening or the next weekend. Let me give you those magic words: “Let’s enjoy a glass (or two?) of wine after work tonight?”.
- Don’t ask her to come to the city center. I know, you work in this area so it’s comfortable for you, but chances are higher when you ask in what area a girl lives in and offer a meeting somewhere close to it, or when you offer to drive her from home and back, or when you call her a taxi. It doesn’t amount to much money, but it sure adds a lot of points in your favor.
- Change your userpic. Take off your sunglasses and take at least one normal shot. Of your face. A selfie is not for men, so you’d better ask your colleague to take a pic of you during your lunch break, in a pinch. Photos from fishing expeditions aren’t interesting to anyone but your dad. Same with photos made five or more years ago. The fact that you have conquered Mount Elbrus is certainly impressive, but the photographic evidence of this, would be better suited for Facebook and Odnoklassniki.
But, contrary to popular opinion, I approve of pictures from the gym, especially a full body shot. Don’t get confused, it’s not the same as putting a photo of you from the bathroom of a hotel room in a white bathrobe (yes, many people somehow believe that this is something appealing). In the gym, even a mirror-look is not a sin, I believe. Although not the one where you have to twist your arms to show your triceps, or worse, stand in the famous bodybuilder pose. Ease, gentlemen! In general, it’s better of course, to ask your coach or fitness partner to snap your photo as if you’ve been “caught off guard.”
Good luck with dating! I wish you all the love.